Us
by Mistress Zipper
Summary: Kakuzu and Hidan have a bad relationship - actually, not a relationship at all. Then, because of Hidan's "retarded roommates," he is stuck with Kakuzu and a... baby! KakuHidaKaku, chapterfic
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Us  
><strong>Chapter:<strong> 1  
><strong>Main Pairing:<strong> KakuHidaKaku  
><strong>Side Pairing(s):<strong> DeiSasoDei, KisaIta, SasuSaku, ZetsuKarin, PainKona  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Sexual Themes, Swearing, Minor Violence

* * *

><p>The door opened, and there he stood. The gray-white hair that was too old for the rest of him – the lithe body, but not too muscular to be scary-lithe; his hands were long and slender, but the backs of his hand looked torn and scarred; eying up his body, he was wearing jeans and a nice, deep purple shirt, buttoned down two. Going up further, green eyes met his jawline, not too feminine, but not too masculine; they scanned over his lips for a moment, before making it to his eyes.<p>

Lavender or magenta. He wasn't sure which he wanted to call them yet... Maybe even violet.

"So," the man in the door leaned against the frame, catching the other man's attention, "Are we ready to go, Ka-ku-zu?" he said slowly, folding and playing with the end of his shirt.

Kakuzu gently nodded, stepping out of the way and inviting the other male to join him on his venture down the sidewalk; he hadn't made any mistakes yet. He liked this guy – Hidan. Second date with him, and still no mistakes. Not saying anything too fruity or conceited – nothing self centered, that is – and making sure to always comment on how nice he looked. Hidan always looked nice, may it be waking up to get a cup of coffee, at work in his uniform, in his pajamas, naked, covered in blood – _anything _he wore.

The slightly chilled air was cold enough for a light sweater, and for his breath to be seen. Hidan smiled at the other, tilting his head with almost nostalgic eyes, "Let me get my jacket," he said quietly, disappearing inside.

Kakuzu peeked his head inside, looking at the clean interior of the house, just seeing Hidan slipping around the corner.

Wistfully, with a sigh, Hidan pressed his body against the wall, feeling the butterflies start a-rattling in his stomach; Kakuzu was such a handsome guy, so nice, so gentle, had cash; he was everything that he had asked for in a guy! Tall, dark, handsome, sweet - _everything!_ He would put out for this guy... eventually.

He opened the closet door and pulled out his deep brown pilot's jacket with a fur collar, and slipped himself into it, before coming back around the corner to find Kakuzu not in the doorway. Hidan arched an eyebrow, and then went forward, looking a little further outside.

"Looking for me?" Hidan jumped, eyes wide, as he felt a pair of hardened hands on his sides, behind him. He looked over his shoulder, seeing Kakuzu's soft eyes and gentle smirk.

He sighed deeply, and nodded, "Yes, I was looking for you. Don't fuckin' scare me like that, you little douche," he smiled, turning around and resting his wrists on the tan one's shoulders. The taller one tilted his head, his thick, rugged-chocolate hair swaying over his shoulder on the way; his eyes were subtly turning from that glee-esque and playful to lustful and fun.

"Last time I checked, I wasn't that little."

Hidan felt their bodies slowly come together; they had kissed a few times, but nothing to... _deep_, yet. Getting the hint, the smaller man nibbled at his lip, and then leaned up and pecked at Kakuzu's lips, "Little or not," he said, but trailed off when Kakuzu leaned in and connected their lips, unable to finish. Hidan's eyes fluttered shut, butterflies still pounding away at his stomach walls. Their lips moved together, and slowly Hidan's arms wrapped around Kakuzu's neck, the latter's arms snaking around his waist.

"Is anyone home?" Kakuzu asked, dipping down and nibbling at Hidan's neck as he pulled at the shoulder of his jacket.

"No, my housemates are out on a date tonight," Hidan said quickly, out of breath. He pulled his jacket off, leaving it on the shoe rack as they gravitated toward the couch. Hidan's hands tugged through Kakuzu's hair, gripping his jaw and pulling him into a hard, furious kiss. Kakuzu's hands grabbed his waist, pulling their hips together as they stood in the middle of the living room, Hidan on his tippy-toes, Kakuzu almost bending over, to kiss the other.

The younger's heart beat hard, pounding against his ribcage; he felt his manhood throb, but decided to ignore it, being particularly good at ignoring himself. Kakuzu wouldn't allow that, though. Their legs intertwined, and Kakuzu ground his hip toward Hidan's body, thigh pushing against Hidan's pleasure.

"F-fuck," Hidan moaned, eyes shut tight. He pulled Kakuzu's hair into one tight fist, holding the back of his neck with the other. One of his legs reared up, hooking on Kakuzu's, and almost taking out his knee. Kakuzu just gently chuckled as Hidan kept moving, moaning and grunting when his thigh rubbed up against him.

"Hidan," he purred, swiveling his head to the side and rubbing their temples together like a cat would, "Do... you want to?" he asked, looking at the shell of Hidan's ear. It turned bright red as the moments went by. Kakuzu's lips twitched into a small smile, thinking subliminally in his mind that Hidan getting embarrassed so easily was... cute.

"L-like, on the couch?" Hidan pulled Kakuzu closer, hiding his cherry-red face, "It's only our second date..."

"Why not?" Kakuzu inquired, " You seem to be liking this treatment I'm giving you now. We could go to your room if you would like, maybe even just stay here... The counter's right over there," he chuckled, "This rug looks pretty comfortable, I might say."

Hidan's stomach was no longer filled with fluttering butterflies, but knots and what felt like bile. "U-um, Kakuzu, I'm not... how about we make out, and leave the sex for some other time? I mean..."

Kakuzu wasn't disappointed, or surprised. He instead enveloped Hidan's earlobe in his mouth and gently sucked on it, letting it go after a few seconds and breathed into his ear with the utmost delicacy.

Hidan's knees buckled, eyes rolling back into his head.

Kakuzu's arms tightened around his waist, keeping him up for that moment he needed it, still breathing into his ear. "That's fine... I don't mean to rush you," he breathed in gently, and began again, "You just make it so hard to resist the temptation..."

Hidan stood again, a little closer to Kakuzu than he expected to be, and rubbed his groin with his own; immediately, knowing the sensation, he gasped and took a step back. "I-I..." The taller male nibbled at his jaw, bending him down onto the couch. Hidan's eyes were wide, overwhelmed. "I-I, Kakuzu... let's go to the movies..."

Sensing the uncomfortableness, Kakuzu backed up, looking at the smaller. He saw worry in his eyes, as well as nervousness, and Kakuzu knew he'd screwed up his chances.

He'd screwed up, bad.

_"Shit,"_ Kakuzu growled in his mind, _"I was doing such a fucking good job, I had to get cocky!"_ He pushed himself up off of the back of the couch, holding his hand out for Hidan to have it. "Sorry," he said gently, "It's just... you're so beautiful, I can't help myself."

Hidan wryly put his hand in Kakuzu's being helped up. "It's fine... I just haven't done that... before," he said dryly. He felt his eyes watering up; he looked the other way and walked toward the shoe rack, "Been touched like that, I mean."

"You haven't?"Kakuzu's eyebrow twitched.

"No... Fuck, I mean – yes?"he sighed, "No, I haven't been touched like that before."

Kakuzu's eyes narrowed, "Have you ever..."

Hidan looked back at him, glaring, "I haven't done anything ever. Not even fucking touched myself; okay?"

The older male stood up straighter. "Oh."

Hidan's eyes shifted to the ground, face still a little pink; "I... I don't want to go to the movies anymore. You should go home."

Kakuzu's heart nearly stopped, _"W-what?_" "What did I do wrong? I – I didn't mean to offend you if I did, really," he stepped forward toward the other man, but the other just took a step away. "I just think it's... _odd_ that you haven't had any sexual relations... You're so pretty and all, I would have expected you to be sought after by plenty of persons!"

Again, he stepped forward, only for Hidan to step away. "I'll make it up to you," he said, "How about I take us out to dinner on Friday? Some place nice, and we don't ever have to bring this up again."

"Kakuzu... I-I think we're done," Hidan raised his gaze a little, head still bowed. He met his violet eyes with Kakuzu's emerald, and winced, seeing rage.

"Done? What do you mean done?" he started for Hidan, backing him up against the wall; his hands found either side of his head, "Hidan, I didn't mean to make you upset for thinking you're weird!"

"So, now you think I'm fucking weird?" Hidan shouted.

"I – no, Hidan, I meant..."

Hidan put his hands on Kakuzu's chest and shoved him away, glowing with rage; "Get the fuck out of my house! I'm saving myself for fucking marriage, like my religious beliefs want me to! I'm _not_ weird! _You're_ the weird one! Fucking freak, get out of my house!"

Sadly enough, Kakuzu, pressed up against the wall by the smaller male, had been turned on by the sudden (almost more appropriate) fight for dominance. He leaned forward and captured Hidan's lips with his own, biting on the lower one, hard. Feeling an irony taste in his mouth, he knew he had bitten through Hidan's lip. _"God damnit, Kakuzu, keep it together."_

Hidan pulled back, the back of his hand flying up to his face to check on his lip. He pulled it away to find the blood on it. His eyes flew up to Kakuzu's, filled with rage and a new passion and he snarled at him, "I said, _GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!_"

Kakuzu pushed him back onto the other wall, leaning down and biting his neck. Hidan whined a high noise, eyes closing as the pain radiated through his body, reaching up and pulling Kakuzu's shoulder-length hair, away from his body. He just wanted him off. Once he slipped out of his grasp and pulled him toward the door, he opened it and threw Kakuzu out by his hair.

"Never fucking come back. _Never_," Hidan hissed, slamming the door.

Kakuzu sat on the sidewalk, Hidan's blood on his mouth and chin, hair tousled and clothing looking the same. He had a smirk on his face though, almost thoroughly enjoying himself at Hidan's house. He might had come back if it wasn't for Hidan would knock him out with a frying pan.

Hidan peeked out the living room window, finding Kakuzu sitting on the sidewalk, looking blissful. He coiled his lip, tempted to go out there and yell at him, or call the cops. He pressed his icepack to his lip gently, walking back over to the desk, papers strewn all over it. He sat down, cleared a wide spot for his icepack, and then pulled out his checkbook and a chart book.

He opened both to the correct places, and began working, swearing and cursing.

After a while, he grabbed his hair in a fist and stood up, chair falling backwards;"Shit!" he went back to the window, looking out, and finding that Kakuzu had gone. _"Finally._"

He looked around, seeing nothing out of the ordinary, and turned off the lights, headed downstairs to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Us  
><strong>Chapter:<strong> 2  
><strong>Main Pairing:<strong> KakuHidaKaku  
><strong>Side Pairing(s):<strong> DeiSasoDei, KisaIta, SasuSaku, ZetsuKarin, PainKona  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Sexual Themes, Swearing, Minor Violence

* * *

><p>Kakuzu woke up, sore. Not the bad sore, but the good, "I did well," sore. He grimaced, smelling like stale cologne. His pants were on the floor, boxers wrinkled on his body from sleeping on them oddly, buttons undone on his shirt, tie crooked... but overall, it was a good night.<p>

He sat up, throwing his legs over the side of the bed, looking at his neat room; stacked books of classics next to his bed stand and on the shelves, a laptop at the desk, where paperwork was in manilla folders (and manilla folders in manilla folders), organized by alphabetical order, all the way through. His checkbook lay closed on the desk. Kakuzu heaved himself up and walked over to it, checking through to the back to see that it had been a few days since he had last balanced his checkbook.

The male sat down in his chair, grabbing a pony tail wrapped around his pink pen and tying his hair back before going to work.

* * *

><p>Hidan yawned, stretching his arms far above his head and his feet spanning across the bottom of the bed. His toes curled like a cat's, then sprawled out wide. "Oh, Jashin, that was a nice nap," he smiled, curling up on his side. His shoulder scrunched a little much and he winced in surprised of pain that shot through his shoulder. He sat up, putting his hand on his shoulder, feeling around. He felt small indents, but nothing other than that. Hidan threw his feet over the side of the bed, getting up and heading over to the mirror. He stepped over books, clothes, garbage and plates to get to the space where he dressed in the morning. The pale man bent to see what was on his shoulder, to find teeth marks.<p>

He started to remember the night before, and he started to brood. He thought Kakuzu had been a nice guy, worthy of being his, but he was wrong. Kakuzu was just another douchebag who wanted to get into his pants.

Well, probably, anyway.

Hidan stood up, looking around for a shirt. He found one, all the way across the room, and sneered at it. The door was just to the left of him. He didn't want to go an extra 6 feet to get a lousy shirt when he could go without one. He turned toward the door and left, heading up the stairs.

He opened the door at the top of the stairs, walking into the living room and closing the door gently. He turned toward the kitchen to find Sasori standing at the stove, looking at it with a frown.

"What'd you do this time, Saso?" Hidan asked, walking toward him.

"I..." Sasori looked at him, "You do it."

"Do what?"

"_Cook._ You're so damn good at it, why don't _you_ wake up earlier instead of making Deidara and I to wait for your lazy ass,"he sneered, walking to the table and sitting down.

Hidan looked at the stove, finding the frying pan sitting there, nothing in it. The stove wasn't even on. He looked back at Sasori with a confused glance, then moved to the fridge. "Speaking of the blonde, where did the mutt go?"

"He's still sleeping," Sasori said, "I was planning on having breakfast ready for him before he woke up, but that didn't happen as well as I had planned."

"Obviously," Hidan said. He grabbed eggs, bacon, butter and the bread from the freezer, putting them all on the counter. Reaching for the handle of the cupboard, he opened it and pulled out a bowl and four plates. "Could you get me a paper towel?"

"For what?" Sasori said, getting up.

"The bacon," Hidan said, "You put the paper towel on the plate and the bacon on that so the fucking gross-tasting grease gets soaked up... _Duh._"

Sasori's eyebrow twitched, but he obeyed anyway, grabbing a paper towel and putting it on the plate stack. He sat back down, watching Hidan do his thing.

Hidan turned on the stove, opening the butter and cutting off a chunk, throwing it in the warming pan as he opened the container of eggs and the bowl, grabbing one at a time until he got to six eggs and cracking them with one hand as he moved the butter around the pan with a spatula. He lowered the heat on the stove, opening the bread and putting two pieces of bread into the toaster, then moving to the drawer with the silverware in it and grabbing a few forks. He moved back to the bowl, whisking the eggs together. He moved to the sinks, grabbing the faucet and putting a few teaspoons of water in the bowl as well.

"How do you do that?" Sasori asked.

"Do what?" Hidan asked, moving to the frying pan with the bowl and turning the heat up again, pouring the eggs into the pan.

"Remember what to do, without screwing up or getting the ingredients wrong?"

Hidan paused for a second, looking at the eggs; "I guess it's a matter of practice,"he said, "If you do something enough times, of course you're going to remember how to do it. It's like riding a bike; it's more of fucking muscle memory than anything." He turned, leaning on the counter, "Like, cooking is to me as making those damned-creepy puppets is to you. It's a craft we're fond of and find it easier and easier to do every time we do it, but they're still good quality."

"Ah," Sasori sat up a little straighter, "I guess I understand."

"Yeah,"Hidan said, "Would you mind going to wake up the fucktard? Breakfast will be pretty close to done when you come back down."

Sasori nodded, getting up again and walking toward the stairs going to the top floor. He started walking up them, Hidan watching him until he disappeared. He turned around and started cooking again, getting done with the eggs and putting the bacon in once the scrambled eggs were spread out evenly between the three plates. He put the forks, napkins and plates on the table where everyone liked sitting and went back to the bacon to flip it over.

Deidara came down the stairs with Sasori in his arms, looking at each other with smirks on their faces. The blonde had a large hickey on the side of his neck, visible like a neon sign. Sasori leaned up and kissed him, "Your turn to be top tonight, Dei-Dei," he said.

"Mm, Saso," Deidara chuckled, "Not in front of our roommate, bebe, hmm."

The blonde set Sasori down in a chair, sitting next to him, hands clasped on the table. He flashed a big smile, his blue eyes twinkling, "So, hmm, how did your date go last night, Hida-Hida?"

The albino stopped moving, the frying pan sizzling as his silence continued."I'd rather not talk about it," Hidan said simply, putting the bacon onto the plate.

"Oh, come on – was it hot? Did you touch him? _Did he touch you,_ hmm?"Deidara leaned forward.

"Again, I'd rather not fucking talk about it."

"Please, just a little sneak peak on what went down? Did you do anything? Hmm, come on, tell us!"

Hidan turned around, glaring at Deidara, "It didn't work out, we didn't do anything, I didn't even leave the house. We're _done_ with this conversation."

Sasori frowned, "What? But the first date went so well. You were so infatuated with him."

"I guess he's just not my type, alright?" Hidan shut off the stove, grabbing the plate and putting it on the table, "I have to get ready for work. Don't do anything too fucking stupid, now," he said, heading toward the door to the downstairs.

Sasori and Deidara looked at each other, dissatisfied with the answer they had received from Hidan. This had been Hidan's seventh date in the past two months, and none of the men and woman had worked out. Kakuzu had been a friend of Sasori's for a long time, and when they had gotten in contact, Kakuzu had come over for breakfast one day and met Sasori's housemates. He had taken a liking to Hidan, and met him for coffee a few times, and then asked him out. The first date, Hidan came back with a red face and a bundle of white roses, his favorite flower.

As they ate, Sasori wondered what could had gone wrong last night that made Hidan so ornery.

The bread in the toaster came up, burnt and steaming.

* * *

><p>Hidan pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant, sitting there for a moment before opening the door and walking toward the back entrance. Zetsu stood there, talking to himself for a moment before he noticed Hidan.<p>

"Look who it is! **It's** **the fucktwit.** I was going to say it's Hidan, but alright." Zetsu held his arms out, having Hidan walk at him and give him a hug. "How have you been?** Hopefully 'shitty', like you usually say.**"

"Yeah, shitty is a good way to put how I'm feeling today," Hidan said, pulling out his pack of cigarettes and looking at it, "I fucking want one, but I have to work,"he growled.

"Well, have one at break," Zetsu said.

"Zet, you don't have an addiction. You don't know what it's like to have one _now_ instead of later."

"I do too have an addiction. **An addiction to my girlfriend's pu-**"

"OKAY..." Hidan frowned, "Too much information, there, Zet."

"Speaking of Karin, I'm thinking of proposing to her, **I really do like her, so rather than fucking her brains out, though I can do that too,** I feel as if proposing to her _**then**_** fucking her brains out** will be the better option."

"Fuck, how much sex do you have with this woman?" his lips twisted into a sneer, "If you want to propose to her, do it! You two have been together for six fucking years, just go get a ring and propose to her, man!"

Zetsu smiled wide, teeth showing, "You really think so? **Is it too early? I mean, six years isn't a very long time...**"

"In a relationship it is – dude, just go for it," Hidan said with a smirk.

Zetsu just smiled wide, "Thanks man. You've really helped me here – **I've been fighting with this idiot to do it, but he wouldn't listen to me.** Hey, it's not something you can just jump into with no commitment for the situation. **You know me. Free as a bird.** But a sophisticated, intelligent bird. **Whatever.**"

Hidan just laughed, stuffing his cigarettes into his back pocket and walking inside with a roll of his eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** Us  
><strong>Chapter:<strong> 3  
><strong>Main Pairing:<strong> KakuHidaKaku  
><strong>Side Pairing(s):<strong> DeiSasoDei, KisaIta, SasuSaku, ZetsuKarin, PainKona  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Sexual Themes, Swearing, Minor Violence

* * *

><p>Kakuzu walked up to the porch, knocking on the door, and it opened almost instantly, showing a sickly-pale man with dark, almost black, hair pulled back into a low pony tail and dark eyes. "Hello, Kakuzu," the man said, nodding gently.<p>

"Itachi," Kakuzu said with a courteous nod, "Is Kisame here?"

"No, not currently. He'll be back any minute, though. Come in, but be quiet, I have just put the children to bed, and I do not feel like getting up to care for them again." Itachi side-stepped the door, welcoming him inside.

"Right," Kakuzu walked in the door, slipping off his shoes while frowing. Itachi and Kisame often babysat for Sasuke and Sakura's two children, Habatchi and Sen, when they were out for dates to get away, or on business trips, being part of the _Konoha & Co._ business, they traveled... a lot. He wished he could take the brats off of Itachi's hands every once in a while so he could go back to doing what he loved: Cooking with Kisame at their restaurant _Hoshi-Uchi Cuisine._ "You know, if you want, you can just sit and relax and I'll watch the kids."

"No, no, that'd be asking too much," Itachi's eyes grew a little sadder, as if he wished that had been what his brother and sister-in-law had said to him when he offered to babysit for them.

Kakuzu nodded, "I understand. How have you been doing?

"Tired," Itachi's lip twitched into an easy-going smirk, "Kind of wish that brother will get back soon so I don't have to stay here any more. Staying here is getting me..." he gestured lightly to his body, "This way."

"You look like you could use a vacation," Kakuzu said, reaching out and putting his hand gently on his shoulder, "How's the..."

"It's getting worse," Itachi said shortly. "I'd rather not talk about it."

The miser frowned again, "Itachi, have you told Kisame yet?"

Itachi moved across the room toward the couch, turning and sitting down on the comfortable couch. "No, not yet."

"You have to tell him, Itachi," Kakuzu said with a stern voice, "What if you wake up one day, and you can't see?" the miser's voice kept getting louder and louder, "How are you going to explain that you can't look him in the eye because you don't know where they are anymore?"

Itachi opened his mouth, but was cut off by a crying sound that came from upstairs. Both eyes went toward the stairs, and the male on the couch sighed. "I know, Kakuzu," he said quietly, "But I cannot just rush into telling him such serious things." He got up from his perch on the couch and walked toward the stairs, "If you wouldn't mind, I would prefer if you would leave the premises so you don't wake the children again."

Kakuzu pressed his lips together in a tight line, then nodded. "Goodnight, Itachi."

"Goodnight, Kakuzu."

* * *

><p>Hidan walked into the house that night, cigarette in his mouth. He looked up, seeing Deidara, sleeping. Deidara was holding a pillow to his chest with one arm, his head being propped up by his hand and elbow. He took off his shoes, and pulling off his jacket. He opened the door again, leaning down and putting out his cigarette on the concrete steps. Slamming the door once he came back inside, he saw Deidara jump awake.<p>

"S-sasori?" he said, wide-eyed. "Oh, hmm. Hidan," he sounded disappointed.

"Don't sound so fucking sour," Hidan said, walking past him toward the kitchen.

"How was work, hmm?" Deidara sat up, eyes following him as he traveled around the couch.

"Eh," he said, "It was fine, I guess. Found out that Zetsu wants to marry his girlfriend," Hidan rolled his eyes, "Work was fucking nasty, some person spit on me and a kid barfed on the floor, and _I_ had to clean it up."

Deidara frowned, "Sorry, hmm," he said. "Kid puke is pretty gross. I remember when I had to clean that stuff up when I was a kid working a low-class restaurant." Deidara almost sighed wistfully, "Then I became a great artist and sell my creations for money."

"Shut up," Hidan growled, pulling his work shirt off his sleek body, "I can't particularly do the same."

"You could do blood-letting, hmm?" Deidara said.

"I don't even know what the fuck that is," Hdian growled, "As much as I fucking love blood and stuff, I think cooking is a more logical career."

Deidara sighed, "As much as I love your food, Hidan, you really don't do all that much with your talent for art, hmm..."

Hidan just sneered, then moved to throw the shirt into the bathroom. "I'm going for a run to fucking get all the grease that soaked into my system today. Want to come?"

"... Not much of a running person, hmm," Deidara lay back down on the couch and grabbed the remote from the floor in front of him.

"You could have just said 'no,'" Hidan frowned, "See ya'," he said, going to the rear entrance of the house and slipping into his tennis shoes.

"Yep, bye."

Hidan slipped out of the back door and walked toward the fence to the road. He slipped his hand into his pocket and grabbed out his iPod and ear buds. He plugged in, putting the buds in his ears and playing the first song that came to his iPod's screen, slipping it back in his pocket and starting to jog along the sidewalk.

This was Hidan's main time for thinking about life, or whatever happened to be on his mind. He started thinking about Kakuzu, and how he was doing. As angry as he was at the guy, he was quite charming, and made him feel... _good._ Good-good. And he kind of wanted it to happen again, but what person would give him that kind of attention?

_ "Well, obviously Kakuzu, but who else?"_ Hidan thought subtly. _"Zet's straighter than a fucking ruler, Deidara and Sasori wouldn't touch me, because they only have eyes for each other..."_ he frowned a little, breathing a little heavy. _"Fuck, is Kakuzu the only person in the fucking world who will touch me like that?"_

Hidan turned the corner and saw a red-haired woman in the distance, walking a dog. He knew it wasn't Sakura from down the street, because she and her weird husband didn't own a dog, and she had much shorter hair. This woman had hair down her her mid-back. The woman looked up as he kept running toward her, and she smiled, "Oh, Hidan!"

It was Karin! Hidan raised a hand and held up one finger, coming toward her and pulling out his ear buds. "Karin," he said with a smile, "What the fuck is up, woman?" he wrapped his arms around her in a greeting-hug, the small corgi at his feet jumping up and barking. He bent down and pet the dog, "Well, hello again, mutt."

"Oh, not much, Hidan. Just walking Pudge to think about some stuff..." she said solemnly. Her hand wrapped around the dog's leash one more time.

"What are you thinking about?" Hidan asked gently.

Karin frowned, "Will you promise not to tell Zetsu?"When she got a hesitant nod in reply, she breathed in. "I'm pregnant, and I don't know how to tell him. I want to tell him, but I'm afraid that I'm going to scare him away, or he'll ask me to get an abortion – and _you_ know very well my stance on that!" she said firmly. "We've been together so long, I really do love him, but I don't know if he loves me enough to have this kid..."

Hidan just smiled, "Karin... You just have to fucking tell him. I'm sure it'll turn out fine. Shit, Zet has always been very open to babies. I would know. The fucking schizo-kid babysat for a living until he was 19-years-old. He's damn good at what he does."

"Really?" Karin said disbelievingly.

"No fucking joke," Hidan said. Pudge jumped up and pressed her front paws to his leg, panting loudly. "Zet would be happy to have a baby of his own. And yours, of course."

Karin paused, still looking flustered. "Do... do you think he would marry me?"

Hidan just smiled at her. "Of fucking course he would."

Karin smiled, and giggled in reply. "Thanks Hidan. You've helped me a lot." She wrapped her arms around him and then turned around, walking back down the street. "See you 'round!"

"Fuck yeah, you too!" he smiled back at her, and turned around, deciding that his run for today had been cut short. He started back the other way after plugging-in again, and went down the sidewalk.

* * *

><p>Sasori came through the front door in a fedora and slimming suit, smiling wide. "Oh, Dei-chan?" he purred, slipping off his shoes and looking around the living room, finding that his boyfriend wasn't there. Television, on, and what looked like to be a half-eaten sandwich on a plate on the coffee table.<p>

"Deidara?" Sasori asked, half-heartedly.

Deidara came into the living room with the phone to his ear, looking solemn. "Yes. Yes, I understand..." he said quietly, "I – hmm-m... I really..." he leaned up against the door frame, "Ye-yes, I understand, ma'am, h-hmm." A tear fell from his eye, and he reached up and wiped it away. Sasori came forward and wrapped his arms around Deidara's waist. "Th.. thank y-y-you..." he sniffled, holding back a sob.

"Sir?" Sasori heard from the phone pressed to his lover's face, "Sir, there's no need to cry. I'm sorry your adoption papers were denied, but you and your partner don't have stable workplaces, and with your criminal record..." she sounded sad as Deidara finally started sobbing over the phone, a hand over his eyes.

"J-just take it, h-hmm, Sasori, I c-can't... I can't..." he shoved the phone into his hands and ran to the stairs, climbing up them two at a time as he bawled.

"... Sir?" the woman asked gently. Sasori looked down. "Sir?"

Sasori removed his hat and raised the phone to his ear, "Ma'am, may I ask for your name?"

"It's Bethany, Bethany Walker. May I ask whom is speaking?"

"This is Sasori Akasuna, Deidara's... partner," he disliked the word, but that's what they were known as. "I would like to know the reasons why we were denied for adoption."

Hidan walked through the back door, and an insane idea popped into his head, making his eyes glimmer. Hidan looked back and him and he just asked:

"What?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Title:** Us  
><strong>Chapter:<strong> 4  
><strong>Main Pairing:<strong> KakuHidaKaku  
><strong>Side Pairing(s):<strong> DeiSasoDei, KisaIta, SasuSaku, ZetsuKarin, PainKona  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Sexual Themes, Swearing, Minor Violence

At the dinner table the next night, Hidan whipped from yet another day of work – but, since seeing Karin, there was no sign that Zetsu knew about the odd child; his mind was preoccupied as Sasori and Deidara talked at him about things, and he didn't realize that he was finished with his food and was sucking on his fork until the phone rang.

"Oh, Deidara can you get that?" Sasori asked politely, piling on some more rice with curry onto his plate.

Deidara nodded gently; he got up from his seat and walked to the wall phone, answering with a curt, "Hello, hm?"

The kitchen got suddenly silent after Deidara put his hand over the phone and looked at his shoes. Hidan watched his eyes get angry. "Hidan. It's for you."

Hidan felt himself sit back, as if to get his head as far away from the blonde as possible, as if he were to lash out. "Who the fuck is it? Zetsu? Kakuzu? If it's Kakuzu, I don't want to..." Deidara gave him a look, and the zealot frowned.

"It's the Adoption Agency, hmm."

Hidan's eyebrow twitched slightly. "What?"

Deidara snarled silently, then dropped the phone so the chord caught it half way toward the floor, bouncing up and down in a mesmerizing way. Hidan's eyes watched it carefully before he got out of his chair, eyes still on the phone, and picked it up carefully. "Hello?" he said carefully.

"He-dan Weh-burn?"

Hidan's lip curled up, "The 'n' is silent. He-don Weh-bur."

The lady paused for a second, scribbling in the background, and then she said, "He-dawwwn, I had a call the other day about a request that you come in with your partner to be set up for the child adoption trial. Would next Tuesday work for you and your significant other?"

"Next Tuesday?" Hidan was more caught up on the fact that this woman – whomever she was – was butchering these words that were common knowledge. Her vowels were too long, her "ah"s were too breathy and she sounded like she was down right mental in the head.

"Yes, Mr. Weh-burrr. I have already cleared it with your significant other."

"Significant... wait, what?"

"Sir, I just need you to clarify that you can show up on time, 10:30, next Tuesday morning, with or without your significant other."

Hidan's eyebrows furrowed, "The... fuc – !"

"Can you?"

"Well – I mean – yeah, but – !"

"Okay, next Tuesday, 10:30. Sharp."

Hidan opened his mouth, frustrated with the lady on the other side, but the receiver on the other line clicked and he was cut off from her. He closed his mouth slowly and put the phone back on the wall hanger. He grabbed the pen attached to the calender next to the phone and wrote down for next Tuesday, "10:30, Adopt."

Deidara was slumped in his seat unnaturally, Sasori's hand on his knee in a comforting gesture. The blonde gave him a knowing glare to his boyfriend before he went back to scarfing down his food, getting done before the others at the table. He removed himself, putting his plate and fork in the sink, and then bounding up the stairs two at a time, slowly boohooing louder and louder as he made his way up the staircase, a deep, sorrowful sound from his chest.

Hidan watched him as he went, and then Sasori's eyes met his, and he could feel the cold, hard stare boring into his scalp even as he looked down.

"Adoption Agency, huh?" Sasori said quietly.

"Yeah," Hidan said, frustrated.

"Did you sign up for it?"

Hidan looked up expectantly, like Sasori should have known the answer. After a few seconds, he answered the question that was meant to be obvious; "Fuck nah, not with my budget."

The red head sat back in his chair.

"Look!" Hidan said ferociously, "I hate making Deidara feel bad as it is, you don't have to fucking hang this over my head, too! You and I both know he's wanted a fucking kid since the day he knew he had a fucking penis, and now that _you_ can't give him one, and _I _can't give him one, what am I supposed to do!"

He stood up and threw his plate against the wall, shattering it. "I'm done with this bullshit! I'm fucking done with this melodramatic blonde wanting a fucking baby, and I'm fucking sick of you acting like it's not your problem! WELL, IT IS! You two fucking it up for yourselves! I can hardly keep myself together, how the fuck am I supposed to keep you two from splitting up, or worse, breaking yourselves?"

Sasori looked at the plate, shattered in pieces on the floor. His almond eyes switched to Hidan, and he breathed in gently, getting up and leaving the table, plate and everything, before he took off up the stairs after Deidara.

Hidan frowned and sat down at the table again, covering his eyes with the palms of his hands. "What the fuck is happening to me?" he murmured.

"Hidan. What a surprise," the tall man said in the doorway, deep voice and broad chest standing out over anything. He was gigantic, almost tall enough to duck to get through the doorway. He was muscular and had dark hair, dark eyes and fair skin – not pale like Hidan. He looked down at Hidan like he was a bug. Dirt. Shit. Hidan looked at him straight in the eyes. He held out his hand and received a handshake back.

"August..." Hidan glowered at his shoes, clearing his throat, then looked up at him again. "Dad."

August smiled wide, brilliantly resembling Hidan's. "Welcome home, son. What can I get ya'? I beer? Wine? Dinner and a movie?" he stepped aside to let Hidan into the house. It smelled of coffee and caramel, what Hidan's mom, Kaoru, drank all the time with her brother, Sho, whom also was Deidara's father.

"I want to talk to mom."

August's face fell; "Why don't you sit down at talk with me? We can have a round of drinks, smoke a cigar, watch some television..." he asked. Hidan gave him a look. "She's working on a painting at the moment, but I can leave a message."

"It's urgent."

"She's been really tired, Hidan."

"I think she'll understand." Hidan slipped his shoes off, going toward the stairs next to the bathroom. His arm was caught, and he was pulled back down the stairs. His father's eyes caught his in an intense stare. Hidan melted for an instant, and the words slipped out his mouth.

"I don't know if I should adopt a child or not..."

Before August could recover, Hidan bounded up the stairs to his mother's attic studio.

He opened the door and closed it before August could say anything. "Mom. Urgent news," he said breathlessly. The chair was occupied by a pale woman with white-blonde hair, purple eyes and a large t-shirt, splattered in paint. Kaoru had been using the same tee for years and years, Hidan having one close to it, having sat in there as a boy painting right beside his mother.

"What is it, honey?" she turned her head, keeping her eyes on her painting of her and August's trip to Bulgaria.

"Mom, I don't know whether to adopt a child or not," Hidan said, frowning. He sat down on a short stool next to his mother's chair and rested his forehead on her lap.

Kaoru set down her paintbrush and her pallet on the floor and moved to stroke her son's hair back. "Having a baby is a big decision, Hidan. You have to have enough money, space, a reliable babysitter, time off from work – and it really does help to have a reliable partner. And," she looked up at the ceiling, "From the past few years, I can tell that isn't going to happen very time soon, dear." Hidan looked up at her, almost offended at the statement. Kaoru just gave him a look and he set down his head again.

"Mom, I have an appointment next week at 10:30 at the Adoption center. What am I supposed to do? I mean, fuck – I can't just show up without knowing what I'm in for... can I decline?"

Hidan's mother looked at him sympathetic, " You got yourself into this, Hidan."

He sat up quickly, "I didn't, though! I just got a phone call an hour ago at dinner telling me I was signed up with my 'significant other' or someshit! I didn't do anything, Mom – I never got a hold of these people. I have been having so much trouble with money lately that I can hardly support _myself, _let alone a baby. I snapped at Sasori because of Deidara, wanting a kid and all, and..." he looked up at his mother, who had gone back to painting.

"Hidan, I understand what you're going through. I was pregnant with you at a very hard time in my life. I was 17, just a few months away from graduating, I didn't have a steady job, August was going to another country for whoever-knows how long, and the only money I had was my college fund, with less than 1,000 dollars in it." She painted in her smile lines on her painting. "So you know what I did?"

Hidan had heard this story a thousand times, but he was always interested in it. "What?" he questioned meekly.

Kaoru looked at her son and kissed his forhead. "I cried."

"Why, though?"

"Because I was miserable," she said. "Woe-is-me type miserable, but I was going to survive. I had a hard time getting my parents to let us live with them until August came back. When he came back when you were three, he and I bought this house and started to work on it to our content. Finally, 20 years later, it's perfect. I love it. He loves it. But, the best part is that you're healthy, and that we survived it."

Hidan smirked. "I'm going to survive?"

"Yes, Hidan. You're going to survive."


End file.
